Pass the coffee.
4:02 a.m. Child climbs into bed with me. Husband is blissfully asleep in guest bed "getting over a the stomach flu." Please, you know he is psychic and predicted this event transpiring. 4 y.o.: "It is dark!" Me: "Yes Z, it is the middle of the night." 4yo: "I AM THE CHEESE MONSTER!" Me: perplexed. Laughs. [READ MORE]
Flashback to 1983. My parents are watching Dallas in the basement with their friends. I'm at the top of the stairs, trying not to squeak the steps, hunched in a nightgown with my knees pulled tight. Of course my mom sees me and yep, she is upset. Despite her frustration she lets me sit on the floor and join them in watching the number one show of 1983. My mom had to do this a lot--put up with a kid who was awake until all hours of the night. Usually it was just the two of us. She'd let me watch Love Boat on the tiny black and white TV in our kitchen while she made popcorn. Initially she would be exasperated (Of COURSE she was, adult Sarah gets it now!) but she always softened and lovingly let me join her in her late night routine. Let me write it out right here in case my prayers haven't reached my mother: MOM I AM SO SORRY FOR WHAT I PUT YOU THROUGH. MOM HOW DID YOU DO IT. MOM YOU POOR WOMAN YOU NEVER. GOT. A. BREAK! Why the sudden mea culpas? [Read More]
I read about some music that has been proven by science to be the most relaxing and I thought, a HA! WE WILL TRY THIS. So while my husband was trying to get the kid to sleep I listened to it to try it out. I nearly fell asleep. Oh this was good. When it was (inevitably) my turn to take over trying to get this child to go the f to sleep, I brought my handy music playlist. This is a recap of how it went down...
Last night my child got over-tired and wouldn't sleep, perhaps because she went to sleep a five minutes early or maybe it was because it was five minutes late, I don't know. Maybe it is this lunar eclipse that is a full moon in pisces with its "surge of emotional energy" or maybe it is because we tried to put her to sleep on a day ending with a "y"...nobody knows. My child requires precision with her bedtime routine and if you veer off course, hold onto your hats folks. Well, you may recall that yesterday I was a tad sleep-deprived. So there it was, 9 pm at night and it is already two hours past my kid's bedtime and I am SUPER CRANKY and yelling at my kid to GO TO SLEEP NOW. Because that is always effective. And my child runs to the living room, suddenly naked, because she has decided to strip any and all clothes off of herself of course. So she is lying upside-down naked on the couch and is being RIDICULOUSLY silly. Making jokes and laughing. And I stood there and I WAS SO MAD THAT SHE WAS BEING FUNNY.
I was going to write about the hilarious mad-cap evening I had last night, wherein my kid consumed dark chocolate and was awake on a sugar-caffeine-fueled high until 1am.... but guess what. I'm too tired to write this *yawn* story. The chocolates have been hidden. It is time for bed. Sweet dreams!