In the here and now I reckon with the fact that I drank too many margaritas with my husband on date night (ok and ate too many chips and salsa too) and saw my weight loss successes diminish. (OUCH.) In the here and now I see that it was easier to blame my husband for the morning's snafu trying to get our daughter out the door rather than facing the hard reality that she simply struggles with separation anxiety and it is what it whether I like it or not!
"The night comes and we give ourselves permission to dissolve into the rest of darkness. We let go of all the valleys and rivers we wish to cross and our dreams for some distant future." -Sarah Blondin, Live Awake. Tonight I stretched out on the living room couch in the dark, earbuds in my ears… Continue reading Bathed in moonlight
I am supposed to be working. And if I am not working, I should at least be finishing the job application that I keep procrastinating on. And if I am not working on my resume, I should be doing anything other than staring at the sight of three huge, frosted cupcakes at the table next… Continue reading Self-Control
Friends, solstice is upon us. Tomorrow. That is right, the days of winter darkness shift toward the light. I don't want to speak for y'all but damn, it is time for the dark days of 2016 to exit the building. The church I attend had a lovely solstice celebration this past Sunday. We toasted "wasail" (apple juice)… Continue reading Gratitude (kind of) for the darkness
Which meltdown do I begin with? Me yesterday frantically trying to find my daughter's Halloween costume (the one I purposely bought early since I knew I would be busy traveling for work) only to lose it and despair over the fact? Or the blueberry smoothie that spilled over half the living room rug and had… Continue reading A Lesson in Lightening Up, Letting Go
I was going to write about grief but even I am tired of writing about grief. I know, you probably didn't think it was possible. I gotta say you all are pretty awesome for hanging with me. I often astound myself by how much I can write about it. (I mean hello it is why I started… Continue reading I’ve officially tired of writing about grief. P.s. Caillou has FAILED me.
This is a story about muffin tops, intentions, art, and rainbows. Yes, those muffin tops. The kind you jiggle in front of the mirror and make scrunched up faces at. I had a conversation with mine recently. I said, what gives little muffin top? I am doing yoga and swimming almost daily -- which is wonderful… Continue reading The Rainbow
What are you running from? Nothing. What are you running toward? Freedom. This heavy pain made weightless. What carries it away? Love.
I sometimes forget just how new my three-year-old is to this world. This morning she asked if she could eat a peach whole. I happily obliged and realized it was the first time she's ever cradled one in her hands and bit into it like an apple. She's had sliced peaches, canned peaches, but I am pretty sure… Continue reading Peach Fuzz
It still feels wrong to speak of beauty in grief. To exclaim the wondrous joys and gifts that blossom from healing. I want to say, but I would trade any of it to have my mom back or my pregnancy back. (And I would.)