Speaking your truth is the most powerful tool you have.
The process is not linear. The process will not be understood by your monkey mind (which undoubtedly will want to dictate the process and will fail miserably).
"Sometimes the bee stings, and sometimes it makes honey." Z, age 4, tiny Buddha (and recently stung by a bee for the first time.) Watercolor pencil, pen and water
Such joy and freedom in saying NO. For calling bullshit on the inner dialog that said "this is how it is, I work full-time and have a child and blah blah blah here are all my excuses for why I should be permanently frazzled and fatigued." Facing the truth--that my time is precious indeed, so how can I use it to fuel joy?--was LIBERATING and EMPOWERING.
"Pain is a great teacher, but light is a greater one." - Magldala Ramirez, Ancient Wisdom of the Feminine podcast.
So much mental energy thinking about it and really, what for? I got a coffee out of the deal. I got a crazy-eyed photo out of the deal. I'm good with the law. What was the problem here?
IT SEEMS SO SIMPLE, RIGHT? And yet, there I was again, yelling like a shrew at my family this past weekend. All sleep-deprived and self-righteous. (I always become the self-righteous martyr when I'm parenting from an empty cup...look at me, sacrificing for ALL OF YOU, NONE of you whom seem to appreciate my greatness! LOL. NOT A GOOD LOOK FOR YOU, SARAH.)
In the here and now I reckon with the fact that I drank too many margaritas with my husband on date night (ok and ate too many chips and salsa too) and saw my weight loss successes diminish. (OUCH.) In the here and now I see that it was easier to blame my husband for the morning's snafu trying to get our daughter out the door rather than facing the hard reality that she simply struggles with separation anxiety and it is what it whether I like it or not!
In hindsight I have so many questions for my former self. Why did you, former Sarah, take so long to start writing? Why didn't you start using anti-aging face cream sooner? And why oh why did you sit in that suffering place for so damn long?
Take heart. I bet you have it together more than you think. For goodness sake, it's not like you still have Christmas decor lying around in your shrubs in July!