Not everyone is so lucky that have a mom in heaven who sends them prank YouTube videos.
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Tag: humor
She’s got the moves like Jagger (or maybe not . . .)
I’d like to think that the truck full of young males headed to a landscaping job, sitting idle next to me at a stoplight, were cracking up at my dance moves because they were wowed by them and impressed by this forty-something’s swagger. But I’m pretty sure they thought I looked like Elaine from Seinfeld.… Continue reading She’s got the moves like Jagger (or maybe not . . .)
You Sit on a Throne of Lies!
Why is it that when you know your scale is broken you still always assume everyone else's scale is broken and ha ha don't they know the only accurate reading is visible only to you in the privacy of your bathroom?
Fierce
This morning my four-year-old woke up, strutted into the living room stark naked and declared "Good morning my little lovely!" Now that's what I call an entrance.
The Post-Easter 3:01 a.m. Sugar Hangover
3:01 a.m. 4-year old: "Maaaaaaaah-meeee, it's time to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!! Time to make the caaaaaaaaawwwwfeeeeee!" me: "No, it's definitely not. Go back to sleep."
The Pine Tree (But it’s Not About the Tree)
The neighbor's pine tree was removed today. It stood several inches away from our property line. But it felt like my tree. The large crew of workers cheered when the tree came crashing down but I stood and cried. Oh I had plans, all internal mind you, to talk to our neighbors about my their tree. They told… Continue reading The Pine Tree (But it’s Not About the Tree)
I don’t like onions! I make them cry!
That was the three-year-old in response to stuffing being placed on her thanksgiving plate. The nerve! You don't even want to hear what she said about the celery. (She did however find Redi-whip to be quite to her liking. She ran around the house with it clutched in her hands and squealing. It took three… Continue reading I don’t like onions! I make them cry!
Who Killed JR? His toddler who refused to sleep!
Flashback to 1983. My parents are watching Dallas in the basement with their friends. I'm at the top of the stairs, trying not to squeak the steps, hunched in a nightgown with my knees pulled tight. Of course my mom sees me and yep, she is upset. Despite her frustration she lets me sit on the floor and join them in watching the number one show of 1983. My mom had to do this a lot--put up with a kid who was awake until all hours of the night. Usually it was just the two of us. She'd let me watch Love Boat on the tiny black and white TV in our kitchen while she made popcorn. Initially she would be exasperated (Of COURSE she was, adult Sarah gets it now!) but she always softened and lovingly let me join her in her late night routine. Let me write it out right here in case my prayers haven't reached my mother: MOM I AM SO SORRY FOR WHAT I PUT YOU THROUGH. MOM HOW DID YOU DO IT. MOM YOU POOR WOMAN YOU NEVER. GOT. A. BREAK! Why the sudden mea culpas? [Read More]
The time I tried to lure my child to sleep with ambient music
I read about some music that has been proven by science to be the most relaxing and I thought, a HA! WE WILL TRY THIS. So while my husband was trying to get the kid to sleep I listened to it to try it out. I nearly fell asleep. Oh this was good. When it was (inevitably) my turn to take over trying to get this child to go the f to sleep, I brought my handy music playlist. This is a recap of how it went down...
Pour me some hot water and get me a lemon! Change is in the air.
Today I'm savoring my cup of coffee today more than ever. First of all I have a cross breeze flowing through my house. It is glorious. I opened the back doors to the lanai and the fresh air is tickling my toes! Oh it is a sight to behold. It is officially the time of… Continue reading Pour me some hot water and get me a lemon! Change is in the air.
