Certainly I've been thinking about my late mom (Diane), and the grandmother I never met (Elizabeth), and her cousins (names unknown) on the genetic chart, called a pedigree. I've been thinking about other women too. Debby and Angela, two women I knew and admired, both not much older than myself, who died recently of breast cancer. Circles blackened and crossed out.
My heart breaks at the news out of Las Vegas. I am sharing the post I wrote about the aftermath of Orlando and a shooting at a dance club in my home of Fort Myers. The words I wrote then remain true today: I refuse to remain silent. I refuse to stay numb. And I am tired of this madness.
This morning I found myself standing in a strip mall less than a mile away from where I used to live, a dozen roses in my hand and more than two dozen reporters in my face.
I was standing on the site of the latest mass shooting in America.
A reporter asked me was why I was there.
I’d thought about this as I purchased a bouquet of small yellow roses at my local Winn-Dixie this morning. (What types of flowers are suitable to leave at memorials for mass shootings? I wondered. This is now a question we have to ask ourselves in America.)
I thought about gun violence as I made the twenty-three minute drive north from my home, driving past my church that only five short weeks ago hosted a vigil for the Orlando mass shooting victims. I thought about it as I exited the…
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In hindsight I have so many questions for my former self. Why did you, former Sarah, take so long to start writing? Why didn't you start using anti-aging face cream sooner? And why oh why did you sit in that suffering place for so damn long?
I am so excited to share with you all that a piece I wrote, 'Seven Things Nobody Tells You About Miscarriage" has been published on Mommyish.com! They are all about sharing the day-to-day truths related to 'parenting imperfect'--what better home for some truth-telling about miscarriage than their site? (Plus Mommyish loves listicles--even listicles about miscarriage despite the fact my husband thinks it is creepy. Plus they appreciate my love of animated gifs. My piece even includes a gif from Jane the Virgin! AND LIZ LEMON IN A SNUGGIE.)
Tomorrow will mark a year since I sang a song for my mother, an experience that still gives me goosebumps. Everything about that experience was infused with loving grace. I'm writing another post for tomorrow, but in the meantime I thought I'd share that post from last year.
Can I hug you all? Seriously, consider these words a virtual hug traveling from WordPress to your computer or smartphone or tablet or smartwatch or whatever device connects us. Because THANK YOUS are in order. I wrote a post yesterday about how crappy things have been lately and how crappy this YEAR has been. I… Continue reading Thank You for Sitting on My Bench
I've had a huge amount of crap healing work surface this past week. The kind of stuff that a year from now I will look back on and muse, that was so powerful and worth every painful moment. But when you are living it? Total and utter bologna. In fact, I have decided 2016 has… Continue reading The Final Push (This Might Hurt)
I started this blog a little more than a year ago and so much has changed in that time. I thought about this earlier this week as I rolled a pie crust, dancing to Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett, belting out old standards that my mom loved. I felt so much joy. This was possibly… Continue reading A year later: broken open but not broken
My mom was 43 years old the day that she listened to the voice. Five years older than I am as I type this. She listened and so she lived. To see graduations, birthdays, weddings, births. To adopt new identities: Mother-in-Law, Great-Aunt, and yes, even Grandmother. When my mother paused in the kitchen that day to listen, perhaps with… Continue reading Choosing to Dance: My Mother’s Breast Cancer Story
Today has been melancholy. Blah. So MONDAY-ish. Maybe it was the return to work after a great day at the beach with dear friends who were visiting from out-of-state. Maybe it was the post-deathversary-grief. (Grief, after all, is the gift that keeps on giving.) Maybe it was that first thing this morning what did I… Continue reading Squirrels, diiiiiings and a cause for celebration!