That seems to be my lesson this week. FINISH THE DARN PROJECTS YOU STARTED THREE MONTHS AGO.
The process is not linear. The process will not be understood by your monkey mind (which undoubtedly will want to dictate the process and will fail miserably).
Where it takes me is likely beyond what my small mind could ever have dreamed. When I look back at 2016 to 2017 that is most certainly true. The ego had plans and the universe laughed.
Such joy and freedom in saying NO. For calling bullshit on the inner dialog that said "this is how it is, I work full-time and have a child and blah blah blah here are all my excuses for why I should be permanently frazzled and fatigued." Facing the truth--that my time is precious indeed, so how can I use it to fuel joy?--was LIBERATING and EMPOWERING.
"Pain is a great teacher, but light is a greater one." - Magldala Ramirez, Ancient Wisdom of the Feminine podcast.
So much mental energy thinking about it and really, what for? I got a coffee out of the deal. I got a crazy-eyed photo out of the deal. I'm good with the law. What was the problem here?
In not-at-all-surprising news, I got sick with a bad cold. (My last post was literally about how I need to practice more self-care.) Sigh. I’m working on more rest, less doing in my daily life, so I figured practicing this while sick would be a good place to start. In fact, what better way to… Continue reading The man-cold experiment
IT SEEMS SO SIMPLE, RIGHT? And yet, there I was again, yelling like a shrew at my family this past weekend. All sleep-deprived and self-righteous. (I always become the self-righteous martyr when I'm parenting from an empty cup...look at me, sacrificing for ALL OF YOU, NONE of you whom seem to appreciate my greatness! LOL. NOT A GOOD LOOK FOR YOU, SARAH.)
In the here and now I reckon with the fact that I drank too many margaritas with my husband on date night (ok and ate too many chips and salsa too) and saw my weight loss successes diminish. (OUCH.) In the here and now I see that it was easier to blame my husband for the morning's snafu trying to get our daughter out the door rather than facing the hard reality that she simply struggles with separation anxiety and it is what it whether I like it or not!
The man who gives you a back rub without your permission. The guy who stands a little too close to you on the bus, so close you can smell the alcohol on his breath. The boys who joked and the men who joked and so many jokes but you were never laughing. The jokes you didn't understand because you were too young to understand. The gut punch when you were old enough to finally get what they meant.