Who Killed JR? His toddler who refused to sleep!

Flashback to 1983. My parents are watching Dallas in the basement with their friends. I’m at the top of the stairs, trying not to squeak the steps, hunched in a nightgown with my knees pulled tight. Of course my mom sees me and yep, she is upset. Despite her frustration she lets me sit on the floor  and join them in watching the number one show of 1983.600x600bb-85

My mom had to do this a lot–put up with a kid who was awake until all hours of the night. Usually it was just the two of us. She’d let me watch Love Boat on the tiny black and white TV in our kitchen while she made popcorn. Initially she would be exasperated (Of COURSE she was, adult Sarah gets it now!) but she always softened and lovingly let me join her in her late night routine.

Let me write it out right here in case my prayers haven’t reached my mother: MOM I AM SO SORRY FOR WHAT I PUT YOU THROUGH. MOM HOW DID YOU DO IT. MOM YOU POOR WOMAN YOU NEVER. GOT. A. BREAK!

Why the mea culpas? Because now I’m in her shoes. My almost-four-year-old is having what I jokingly refer to as the “four-year sleep regression.” She is awake approximately 99.98% of our waking hours. No break from the kid. No down time. And let me tell you, as an introvert this is so hard.

How am I responding to it all? I’m trying to model my mom’s love. (She still teaches me. When people say love never dies, that it extends forever, this is what they mean.) Lately I’m following her lead as much as I can. Like her, I’m surrendering to the fact that my kiddo won’t sleep and there isn’t much I can do about that fact. I might as well make some popcorn for her while she sits on the floor to join in watching Jane the Virgin.

I have a feeling she may someday look back fondly on these moments. I have a hunch I just might, too.


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6 thoughts on “Who Killed JR? His toddler who refused to sleep!

  1. Oh, so you too got the “one day you will have a child just like you”. And while at times I want to pull my hair out over my 9 year mini-me, I secretly (and usually not so secretly) love that he has so much me. And, yes, the love and guidance never disappear, do they?

    Liked by 1 person

    • She definitely inherited some of the qualities that most challenged my own mom–high energy, stubborn, insomniac who climbs on everything…oh boy. I love that you understand how the love and guidance never disappears. Incredible isn’t it?

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  2. I loved this 80s TV flashback! I remember my dad watching Dallas in the evening. (He also liked Magnum P.I. and Chips.) If I was home sick from school, I was allowed to watch The Love Boat. Now I want to make a list of all those wacky 80s shows!

    That line, “she never got a break.” I feel that so much right now, (though I do get small breaks). Those evening hours, that coveted quiet would be hard to give up. And yet, what beautiful memories, making popcorn and watching TV together. Your mom’s love and wisdom is with you always. Beautiful post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much Sarah! Oh my goodness I remember Chips, I loved that show! And who can resist the handsome Tom Selleck? Ha! Yes, the days can definitely be long as a parent can’t they? In the midst of the grind we are making so many beautiful memories. I just loved your post yesterday and could so relate to those trying moments interspersed with little victories. And the struggle against Calliou is real. Don’t let the whiny primary-colored-child keep you down. Y0u shall overcome! SOLIDARITY.

      Liked by 1 person

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