loss

Yellow Butterflies

Where do I start?

Do I start with the yellow butterflies that appeared before my mom’s death and have visited me ever since? Always yellow, popping up and following me on walks, outside windows and even on highways as I speed by.

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Image source. Creative Commons license.

Do I start with the visit to the stinking, rotting beach where I realized I needed to write in order to heal?

Or do I start in a traditional place—therapy—which gave me space to talk and grieve.

Or the acupuncture that released the months, years, decades of grief, slowly returning life force to my fingers and toes?

I know where one chapter of this healing ends. It ends with surrender to pain (always through writing) and a mother who continues to parent from beyond the veil.

All along, a sister. How do I explain her role in all of this? This story is as much hers as mine.  

 

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4 thoughts on “Yellow Butterflies”

  1. Your words are like an echo to my experience… I saw butterflies also after my mom’s death, and acupuncture and therapy helped so much, but most of all, writing. Your writing here is not just a balm and an outlet for yourself, but for all of us.

    Like

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